Why Attila the Mum?

The short version would be that it is a self-imposed title.  The long version…

I am a Mum (sometimes Mother, frequently Mum-ma).  I always wanted to be a mum.  Of course like all pre-parents I was some what delusional about parenthood: Oh, my child would never kick up a fuss like that in a public place; my children will do as they are told, because I am a just and fair mum and they will be reasonable; my kids won’t be screamers like those kids; What is wrong with those people?  Have they no control over their children?  That kind of thing.  It didn’t take too much time for the understanding about how wrong I was to sink in.  I thought my fairness, honesty, and love would bring about respectful, well behaved children, I wasn’t truly prepared for some of the things that I would say and do to re-direct my children.

My first self imposed title was “Mother, ruiner of fun.”  That evolved from the multiple times I had to get my kids to leave a place, a toy, a friend.  I would tell them it is time to go and the response would be, ‘but I am having fun’.  I never once said that they weren’t having fun, but obviously I was ruining it by insisting that it was time to be finished.  I made a shirt that said I was ‘Mother, ruiner of fun’, to show that I was aware and that I accepted this role.

Momnipotent.  I saw that in a Reader’s Digest, I think.  I thought that perfectly described me.  I might not know everything, but I know everything for and about my kids.  Well, when they were little at least.  Now that I have a teenager, I am pretty sure I don’t know everything, but probably more than he thinks I know.  I made a shirt.  I like sharing my epiphanies.

We read a book by Berkley Breathed called, Mars Needs Moms.  That is where I got my next title from.  There are countless times I know things would have worked out better, gone more smoothly, turned out different, if I was better able to not get frustrated and keep my temper in check.  I am nowhere near sainthood.  I know several moms who are.  I am definitely not among their exulted rank.  So, after reading Mars Needs Moms, I fully admitted to being a ‘thundering, humourless tyrant’.  Again, I made a shirt.  That one definitely gets a double take when I wear it.  My kids don’t believe that one.  They think I am funny. Sometimes.

Naturally, if I am a thundering, humourless tyrant, I must be a tyrant, right?  There are multiple tyrants to choose from history.  Depending on your perspective many of them could be perceived as a tyrant or a great leader.  That would be one of the things I love about so much information, is that it all depends on how you view it.  Anyway, Attila the Hun would be one of those historical figures.  The transformation from Attila the Hun to Attila the Mum is pretty easy to do.  I made a shirt, more discreet than the previous ones.  The words are between the shoulders of the shirt.  The front has a quote about having a positive attitude.