My mom is dying.

There are no expections of getting better or rallying. We sit and listen as she struggles to breathe.  Watching.  Visitors come.  Seeing them saying goodbye, coming to terms with the end of her life, their relationship to her (sister, friend, romance past and present) is hard.  My relationship to them is inconsequential.  All my thoughts and opinions no longer matter.  I am caught in their sadness as it butts against my own.  I think about how I will have to do this again, faced with the reality of aging parents, and eventually friends and other family members.  Thinking my kids will have to experience this journey… There is no choice in death, but the watching and waiting is agonizing.