Yep, that would be the same one that sleeps in doorways like she is passed out. You wouldn’t think something that is labelled “Man’s (a Person’s) best friend” would be capable of lying to said best friend.  Well, my dog does, and she isn’t the first of my dogs to do so.

When I take my dogs for a walk, we walk.  I do not wait around while they investigate interesting smells or select the exact right spot to relieve themselves.  If they haven’t assumed the position in a short amount of time, we move on.  Well, that is the theory but Hazel faux pees.  She sort of gets herself situated, makes it appear like she is peeing, but she is really just pretending so she can sniff around.  The dog we had before Hazel used to do something similar but wasn’t as successful because she had better height clearance.  Harder to run a scam when I can see what’s going on.

I will admit I am somewhat mission oriented.  In the morning it is my mission to walk the dogs.  I frequently walk the same route, with some minor switch ups because I don’t want to completely zone out.  I know how far it is and I know approximately how long it takes, barring any distractions and pauses at points of interest (Trout lilies are coming up and bloodroot is in blossom, it is exquisite).  When the dogs have a need they side step to indicate and I slow down so that they can have a moment.  Somewhere in her beautiful dog brain Hazel has decided she wants more than a moment, and she counts on me being lost in my own head or in the beauty of the slowly unfurling seasons not to notice what she is doing (not only is she a liar but a sly opportunist as well, I shake my head).  More often than not, my will to continue our walk overrides her determination to pause, pretend to pee, and sniff.  Every once in the while, when she realizes the ruse is up, she accesses that special place in the universe where she has stashed some extra cosmic mass, and hunkers down.  My will is still greater, but the ensuing battle is probably highly entertaining from a perspective that isn’t mine. Thankfully, my other dog hasn’t caught on to what is going on and joined the game.  If they joined forces their combined mass could possibly override my will…but I doubt it.