It is a fabulous thing when that wee baby, that you have cared for and nurtured, first says Ma.  Multiple years later, when that small child has mastered many more words and uses them in various ways, Mom, Mother, Mum, and Mommy are still in frequent use.  I have four beautiful children and I am very proud of having the title of ‘Mum’ and being their Mother.  There are times though when I have heard enough of the word ‘Mum’.  Bellowed from all areas of the house for reasons of conflict, permission, lost items, hunger, and locating, and always answered with a ‘yes, what do you need?’ no matter what I am doing, there are times I just want to ignore the beckoning.  Especially, when called multiple times in quick succession without space in between to actually respond.  It was on one of those occasions that the doppelgänger named Ug came into existence.

Ug has been a wonderful creation.  Imagine a rapid staccato of the word ‘Mum’ badgering at your ear drums and concentration (keeping in mind the child in question is not in danger in anyway.  They are just in the mindset to harass me into changing my mind about something.)  I respond, “The person to whom you refer as mother is presently not available.  She has been replaced by the doppelgänger named Ug.”  Now, what is lovely about Ug, is she is not ‘Mother’.  She doesn’t need to respond to non-life threatening situations.  She doesn’t have to reason with children as to the whys and wherefores of life, living, and why the answer was no.  She can say things that I would never say to my children, and they think she is funny.  Back to the staccatos of ‘Mum’.  The  excessive repetition of my title was with the intention to get me to agree to a situation in order for the sound assault to cease.  I transform mentally into Ug.  I inform my son that I have been replaced.  There is a pause. “Ug.”  Ug replies, “Drop dead.”  Shocked silence ensues.  A burst of laughter.  Then, “You’re the greatest.”  I am thinking that that statement is similar to when people say I am unique.  It probably not the compliment it sounds like it is.